No, silly, not the Virgin Islands…the Very Inebriated! At least according to this account that has recently lapped my Fbook newsfeed multiple times:

Someone, somewhere, found this page in some book, posted it – and just like that they verified something that most of us had already guessed
There’s a handful of reasons to explain why the USVI is leading the world in bleary-eyed hangovers:
A) Rum is cheaper than milk. And juice. And, in some instances, water – once you’ve filtered and/or bottled it.
B) Jager is like the ‘F’ word, used and abused often, by many, in a variety of different ways. Ask any bartender how often they have to change out the bottles on their jager machine. (then ask how many of them run quality controls on it throughout their shift to make sure it’s cold…)
3) Happy hour prices are cheap, cheap, cheap – and many bars have two (2, dos, deux) happy hours.
*) No one leaves a bar empty-handed, and, now that I think about it, many people never enter a bar empty-handed either.
5) Bushwackers include between five to seven alcohols, and we sell a lot a dem down here. A lot.
9) FREE POUR. And no, I don’t mean we pour for free…I mean island bartenders use a free pour when making drinks. Which leads to a lot of dismay when islanders travel up to Real America, order a drink and watch the bartender pick up that nasty little alcohol-measuring tool. Yucky.
G) The airport hands out shots of Cruzan rum to arriving passengers. (they hand out aspirin to departing passengers. Ha! I kid. Why would you leave?)
9) We have beer-drinking pigs on St. Croix. I know, I know, beer isn’t a spirit…and I’m pretty sure the pigs are chugging non-alcoholic beer, so they really don’t do anything for our number one status – but I felt like mentioning it, okay?
So, back to this mysterious list that puts the USVI on top of the world. I’ve googled and read and can’t seem to find the origin. I have found a couple of other maps and charts that paint a different picture…such as this one, which has us somewhere between thirsty Russia and not-so-thirsty Algeria (and neighbors):

A little more digging and I found some other randomly interesting facts on the Virgin Islands:
~ we’re #18 out of 52 for Heavy drinkers – defined as adult men having more than two drinks per day and adult women having more than one per day. (more than one is considered ‘heavy’? Poppycock! I’ve already had two while writing this.)
~ we’re #34 out of 52 for Binge drinkers – defined as adults having five or more drinks on one occasion. (can someone define ‘occasion’ for me – do they mean New Years Eve? Or dinner?)
~ we came in last for tobacco use.
~ we’re #46 out of 52 for Physical exercise. (hey, we live on an island, all we do is drink pina coladas and lay on the beach, right? And those pigs aren’t helping, they do a lot of standing around when they’re not drinking fake beer)
~ we’re #1 (NUMBER ONE PEOPLE!!) in fruits and vegetable consumption. (Mango daiquiris…strawberry daiquiris…pineapple rum…cucumber-infused martinis…)
Those facts appear here…and please, feel free to scour the web for other interesting Virgin Islands facts and figures, but for goodness sakes do it with a drink in your hand so we can keep our number one spot on that random list