Big Kahuna
Real World St. Thomas, Episode 4
Boy oh boy, this episode was a snoozer. Unless you like dead fish, people stepping on sea urchins or iguanas being carried against their will…in which case you probably taped it, re-watched it, dreamt about it all night, will re-watch it this morning and then place a call to Disney to see if you can put it in their movie vault to be re-released on a special date.
To be honest though (and less bratty) I am looking forward to a couple of episodes…mainly the one that centers around our fun Carnival, and the one where they go to St. Croix for St. Patrick’s Day. But those haven’t aired yet, so let’s get on with the one that just did, following last week’s format:
Activities:
Ummm, none. No shopping, snorkeling, boating, fishing, paddle boarding, kayaking, tree-climbing, sand castle building, hiking, plane-spotting, sunrise/sunset watching, pool skimming, jogging, somersaults, handstands. Zero. Oh wait, I think one dude might have whacked a golf ball into the water. Activity achieved.
Beaches:
None. If you’re tuning into the Real World St. Thomas Hassel Island because you’ve been here and want to see some gorgeous shots of Magens Bay you are S. O. O. L. At least for now. Episode two took us to a beach; the other three shows have avoided it. We continue to dodge the pretty-beach bullet. Whew.
Restaurants/Bars:
They went to Starz. Danced it out. That was it.
Wild Animal Interaction (new category! new category! thrills and chills!):
Laura tracked down and picked up a pretty big wild iguana. Red-headed chicks be crazy, yo! (kids, do not try that at home. Or on vacation. Or on your next reality show. Unless you’re the daughter of the Crocodile Hunter, in which case, go on with your bad self.)
Life in the House:
I’m going to try to sum it up quickly. Marie and La Toya find a dead fish. They put it in the boy’s bathtub. It smells. Boys wake up. Move the fish. Hilarity ensues. There’s running, Swift ends up in the water and his foot meets the business end of a sea urchin. It hurts. He decides to get drunk to forget about the pain. It still hurts. Probably ‘cuz it’s a freakin’ sea urchin. (Kids – never meet the business end of a sea urchin. Also, don’t drink to forget about your pain. Any pain. Oh, and the whole candy from strangers thing…still bad. Got it? Good.) They boat over to Yacht Haven Family practice and hey! That’s my dermatologist! What’s up doc! Remind me to congratulate you on your airtime next Monday 
So, blah blah, appoitment over, Swift drunk, women at the front of the office not amused. Everyone back to the house. Swift and La Toya are yelling at each other, I don’t know why. The rest of the kids are laying around the yard. And that’s pretty much it.
So – no points awarded to any locals other than my dermatologist…and they do include bonus points for having to deal with a drunk Swift, two castmates AND a couple of cameras all jammed into his little office.
Scenery shots still get an A+, but that’s a given. It’s beautiful here. You should totally come visit.
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July 19, 2012 @ 7:56 am
Brigitte Said,
I have a friend who got salmonella from picking up an iguana here…that would have made for a great show! Poor iguana
The lack of activities in lame. They need to GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY!!!!
July 19, 2012 @ 11:51 am
Jess Said,
The past real worlds have never shown much of the towns they lived in. It has always been just the drama in the house that they show – so it doesnt suprise me one bit. Think about Mtv’s Jersey shore very rarely do we even see the beaches.
July 19, 2012 @ 3:41 pm
JavaJunkie Said,
I’d rather watch paint dry. That show is so boring!
People the sun has gotten to you, if you feel that is great TV.
Terrible waste of blog space.
July 19, 2012 @ 3:55 pm
BIG Kahuna Said,
@Java, do you not see Nicci’s witty humor in these posts? Her sarcasm? Great writing for my wife
July 30, 2012 @ 4:07 pm
Real World St. Thomas, Episode 5 Said,
[...] five had way more life than the sleeping pill that was episode four. To be fair, however, the bar was not set that high. Let’s dive in, shall [...]